Merry Christmas

SDFafjlffwalef;awe *gained 15lbs*



Bluurp. Merry Christmas nooblays.

His penis shattered my world

I just read an article on xkcd's blag about some phrases that had no hits on Google. "His penis shattered my world" was one of them--I was shocked for a full 30 seconds. How is it possible that nobody on the intertubez has mentioned that? Woowwies.

Christmas Update~!

Yayy! Merry Christmas, stalkers. Don't go "OMG ITS HAPPY HOLIDAYS NOW OMG WTFBBQ" 'cuz merry Christmas sounds better. I'm an atheist and I'm not offended so you have no right to be offended either. Dickwads...

Anyway, the new Christmassy green+red layout will stay 'til probably a week after Christmas, if, that is, if I'm not lazy enough. Credits to semota for the awesome photo used in the banner. Permission was not requested so I didn't bother, but credits are always due~ *good girl*


..Anyway. I'm done. Carry on with your lives, m'underlings.

The weather outside is frightful~

But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It doesn't show signs of stopping
And I've bought some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight
How I'll hate going out in the storm!
But if you'll really hold me tight
All the way home I'll be warm

The fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we're still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Baaaahhhhhh. Get it out of my heeeaaaaaaddddd! ;__;

So yeah, Christmas is around the corner and I'm losing time to PERFECT my gingerbread. *sigh* I hope my mother doesn't try to make turkey herself again. O_O;

I haven't got a clue on what to buy people for Christmas at alllll. Suggestions plz. *defeated*

I need something for Painty, Sharon, Josie, Ma, Pa, my sister and Mafface. *sigh* I'm clueless for the guys. All of them. ;_; My sister is too picky and conservative to be grateful for anything other than money, and my Mom just isn't capable of appreciating. ~_~;



Anyway, besides the holidays shitz (Oh god, the government schemes have gotten me D:::), I'm now officially, temporarily obsessed with Tamaki from Ouran Koukou Host Club. :( Tamaki is so damn cute. Especially how fucking clueless he is. Aiiii *fangirl squeal* I'm eagerly awaiting the 14th volume of the manga to come out, and praying that they'll make a second season. ;_;

BEST SCENE EVAR:


Yeah, I took like 30 seconds to make a gif. Sue me. ;)

...


...


...


Yeah, actually, shoot me please. ;_;;

Pachabel

I have Pachabel's one-hit-wonder song stuck in my head.


...



...That is all.

Double Feature: Mini-rant+Memething

Fuck you Andre. If I was in my senses at the time I would have beaten your little brains into the pavement. Some people just need to grow a bit of common sense. Just a pittance, nothing big. Fuck, common sense should be fucking renamed to suit these fuckmothers.

Other than that, I've been keeping my rant-mode off. :D

And now for a meme, stolen off Facebook, obsly.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Pick 8 random friends you feel comfortable around. (including yourself for number 4).

1-Josie
2-Sharon
3-Mafffffffin
4-Tracy
5-Bwush <3
6-Diana
7-Email?!
8-Melanie



These eight people you just picked are stuck in a house with you for a whole year. There is no leaving the house at all until the year is completely up. If you had to choose a person for every question below, write down which person it would be.

There are four rooms, who would be in each room

-room 1 - Me, Maffin and Sharon since they know no one 8D
-room 2 - Josie, Diana, Melanie
-room 3 - Email
-room 4 - Paint

If there was someone singing in the morning who would it most likely be? Sharon.
If someone was considered the dad and the mom of the house, who would it be? ...Paint. Or Email...since they're..old.


If you wanted candy really badly and all of the 7 in the house had some, who would you take it from? Josie. Just cuz she fights back.

If two people were caught making out in a closet who would it be? Maffin and me <3

If someone had to watch you brush your teeth (every) morning, who would it be? Maffin. She'd say something like "NOT BRUSHING YOUR TEETH IS A SIN!"

There was two bags of chips bought at the store, but 20 minutes later they are gone. Who ate them? Me.

Who would hate being in the house the most ? Paint. He's too anti-social to be there with no one he knows. :DD

Someone took (brand spanking new) pair of socks that were never worn, who is the thief? DIANA. LIKE THE TIME SHE STOLE MY ERASER D:<<

Someone swept all the dirt under the rug, who was it? Josie~

If there was arguments in the house, who would be the ones arguing? Paint and everyone else.

Who would be the one missing there boyfriend/girlfriend that wasn’t in the house with them? Maffin. Only cuz she's the only person with a

You walked down stairs in the middle of the night for a glass of water, someone is dancing on the table in their Leopard Thong, who is the crazy one? Emil imo

A pillow fight broke through, who started it? Josie. Fo sho.

There's a marathon of your favorite tv show, what is it? and who would be watching it with you? Heroes! And like, Sharon/Maff and Email prolly.

Someone made a fort in the laundry room, who was the kid? Melanie+Diana while they made their fucked up animal noises. /facewall

There’s a prankster in the house that put plastic on the two toilets in the house, who are the pranksters? MEMEMEE and Sharon. Obsly.

The musics too loud, who turned it up? Paint and I--Everyone else would evacuate.

Theres a mouse crawling on the floor all over the house,
a)who is the first one to scream? Melanie.
b)and who is the one to jump in someone's arms? EMIL.
c)Who would be the one to kill it? Jonny <3


Someones crying, who is it and what happened? Sharon, cuz she broke up AGAIN.

Who made pancakes in the morning and almost caught the house on fire? ._.; Me?

Who gets sick of each other the fastest in the house? Me. Cept Paint is there so its okay.
Someones tanning on the roof who is it? Emil..
Who is the tallest in the house? Emil. Tall motherfucker.
Who is the shortest in the house? ...Me. .____.
Who is the loudest? Melanie+Diana
Who is the clown? Mafface
Who is the most respectful? ME OF COURSE.
Who is the one you go to talk to the most? Josie+Maff


Who is the one that always comes up with stupid ideas? Diana. :|

Whos in bed first? Depends, who's on top?

If someone woke everyone up with pots and pans who would it be? Diana 8DD

Who is always dancing? Melanie?

Someone has the same sweater as you, so you get mad at them and who is it? Josie x3

You split ice all over the kitchen floor, who would be the one to slip on it first? Josie. Yuss--Splat. I'd have to pry her off the ground. Fun fun...

The Game of Life

I have my whole life planned out. Why do I have my whole life planned out? Is it because my subconscience is telling me that I have no life ahead of me, and it'll be dull and pointless? Should I even expect anything more than what I have? Call me emo and shit, but I'm sure someone who isn't even in her freshman year couldn't possibly have her life, up to death planned out. Sure, shit will go wrong and unexpected, but my philosophy has always been: Humanity exists to survive, reproduce, develop and eventually cease to exist. It's as if we're toys to something greater than anything humanity can understand. The cross on my neck is not influencing my thoughts at all. I still refuse to believe there is a higher power out there. We are all test subjects; experiments.

No, I'm not being emo. STFU Q.Q

Oh and, here's the

Daily Fail Tale
cheehee, what a witty name rite.

(9:49 PM) - « λ υ я ο я α: ...would you like a sock for christmas then?
(9:50 PM) PaintBrush: .....
(9:50 PM) PaintBrush: a sock.
(9:52 PM) PaintBrush: then I get the sock and make it a sock puppet and entertain some children with cancer in a hospital with it,. and 5 years later one of them is a teenager and comes find me to tell me my performance SAVED HIS LIFE cause the laughter cured him, and from then on I dedicate my life to making sock puppets for sick children and Hollywood makes it into an uber sappy movie and I kill myself because I real
(9:52 PM) PaintBrush: realize what I sellout I've become.
(9:53 PM) - « λ υ я ο я α: ....
(9:53 PM) - « λ υ я ο я α: ...
(9:53 PM) - « λ υ я ο я α: ...i meant
(9:53 PM) PaintBrush: Yeah, give me a sock.
(9:53 PM) PaintBrush:
(9:53 PM) - « λ υ я ο я α: using it to masturbate.
(9:53 PM) PaintBrush: .....

What would you do if...?

Just a fun little survey. Do eet or die kthx.

1. You found a flattened dead raccoon on your porch?

2. The man/woman of you dreams suddenly appears in your room while you're sleeping?

3. You return to your home, only to find it in ruins?

4. Somebody randomly walked into your house and lived in it like it was theirs?

5. Somebody breaks into your car and steals the steering wheel?

6. There was a puppy that you don't own under your couch?

7. You find 20 bucks on the ground and saw who dropped it?

8. You find your favourite sweater torn into pieces in your dresser?

9. Your mom who lives halfway around the world calls you and asks you to open a pickle jar for her?

10. The person you love has a second life as a ninja turtle?

Reply as a comment~! Yes I wrote this shit. :3

November: Update

I finally figured out what the instance reset timer does. *shoots self*



Nov. Reading List - This shit never changes--I like to advertise, stfu.

Read this 'cause Jonas is sexy.
- Who doesn't love fuzzy pr0nz?
PostSecret - Amazing stuff, updates every Sunday.
xkcd - Just pure win.
Cyanide and Happiness - Good ol' fashioned randomness.

Nov. Monthly To-Do

• Plan out Christmas spendings/gifts. ;_;
• Master a traditional Gingerbread man recipe. .____.
• Find where pi repeats.
• Assassinate Fred Phelps.
• Successfully mutilate Kan with my adorableness 'til he dies of a seizure. Or has a traumatic attack.
  
• Finish HS applications. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
• I'm to unaccomplished to have any more on this list. :(
  

Nov. Playlist

Switchfoot - Dare You to Move


Monthly Featured Content:



By Wen-M on DeviantArt

Such a romantic, steamy piece. I don't care if it's official artwork, it's cute. :(


By significantother, also on DeviantArt

And of course, the image featured in my winter-themed banner. Brilliant shot and concept.


-TracyL.

Once you go black, we're outta Iraq.

Yay Obama won.

No further comments.

P.S. Yay, new banner/colour scheme. Stay warm, twits, niggers and squares.

kagjw34atiru2q3hawkhrfakl Fuck you all.

But especially, if I had to name one, a single lifeless pretentious cocksucking motherfucker it would be Fred Phelps. Of every person I hate, which is a whole-fuckin'-lot, I'd have to say this motherfucker is the worst of all.

GOD HATES FAGS GOD HATES FAGS- Well, sir, why don't you be the greater man and point a gun to that obviously empty skull of yours and make god happy? You stupid little cock munching piece of shit. America alone is full of stupid, insignificant and awful people, but Phelps, oh for the love of all being just please, please die. You think you're smart. You idiot. There is not a single..no, there is no amount of words that can sum up to you, you cocksucking prick. Oh yes, I just insulted you with a British term. BITE THAT BITCH.

And about George Carlin-- Oh you think that was witty. Oh, it was witty alright. I had a few cracks at it myself. If George Carlin is in hell, then sign me up too. I'm sure if you're going to heaven, it's no place I want to be anywhere near. Not that you are, God wouldn't want a piece of shit anywhere near him either.

...Seriously, just..go die. No one likes you. You put your fellow Americans and Christians to shame. You little piece of shit.

That is all.

Update+Random vajaja meme

Edit: I had a nice rant written out but blogger decided they'd cut half of it out, so I got rid of it. :(


Blaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It snowed. In October.

IT SNOWED.

IN OCTOBER.

Yeah, I'm actually not that surprised, considering the shit these people do to my damn planet. So there goes my slutty Halloween costume. :( But! I have an excuse to be an Eskimo now.

I've always wanted to be an Eskimo.



Oh yes, this was the original post before I decided to ehm..add to it..

I honestly don't know why I do these. I guess it's just fun finding things out about yourself that you never notice. Really long Vajaja meme. :D


1. Do you sleep in your bra?: No. 8D

2. Have you kissed any one on your top list? ..wut

3. Are you happy with your looks?: Satisfied.

4. Do you enjoy drama?: Drama llama can suck my dick.

5. Are you a girly girl?: What's a girl?

6. Who was the last person you hugged?: No idea. Josie?

7. Small or large purses?: Small. I don't need to carry my house around, thanks.

8. Are you short?: I'm asian, shut up. D:<

--------------------------------------------------------------------

[ ] I do wear make up.

[ ] I have cried at a movie theater.

[x] I can put mascara on without opening my mouth.

[x] I get jealous.

[x] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.

[x] I love to laugh.

[x] I like death/grind/black metal.

[ ] I like (c)rap.

[ ] I like techno.

[ ] I like country.

[ ] I carry a purse.

[x] I’d be lost without my computer

[ ] I own a Spice Girls CD.

[ ] I own a Britney Spears CD.

[ ] I own a boy band CD. -Who the fuck buys CDs?

[x] I get bored watching football.

[x] I've never been called a spoiled brat.

[x] Guys are confusing. - Guys are assholes. :3

[x] I've been called a bad influence.

[ ] My friends are the best.

[ ] I have a piercing other then my ears.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Come on ladies, be truthful!

1. What color is your bra that your wearing?
What bra?

2. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?
Dark. Or a fire crotch, they're hot too.

3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy man?
Hmph.

5. Do you have a best friend?
If I really had to order them, sure.

6. Have you ever had your heart broken?
I do the heart breaking, doh.

7. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
I like my face 100% flesh and blood, thanks.

8. Do you like your life?
I prefer it over yours.

9. Where are your best friends?
Probably sleeping, fucking pansies.

10. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
My boyfriends aren't worth stealing.

11. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
I'm retarded, fo sho.

12. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
Guys.

13. How long have you had myspace?
Once upon a time..

14. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
Being the sadistic evil bitch I am, yes. I enjoy it.

15. What are your biggest fears?
Clowns. Above all.

16. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Now, why would I do that? Would ruin the point of trying to sleep, yeah?

17. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
That bastard.

18. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater"?
What! That's stupid. I stopped writing my spelling answers on my desk yeaaaars ago.

20. Do you call or text more?
Neither. blolol

21. What is the first message in your inbox?
Oh, I just emptied it. Fuck.

22. What is the last message in your inbox?
"

23. Do you ever wish you were famous?
No. But I'd love to be infamous.

24. Are you currently missing someone?
Blah.

----------------------------------------------------------------

THIS GUY OR THAT GUY?

cowboy or gangster?
Cowboy. Inherit his horse and kill him. <3>---------------------------------

Questions.

01. Eyeliner or Mascara?
Unnecessary.

02. Louis vuttion or dooney & bourke?
Neither.

03. American eagle or Hollister?
AE, just because.

04. Pumps or flats?
Pumps. I'm short, k.

05. Skirts or pants?
Pants.

06. Socks or leggings?
The former.

07. Hoodies or Jackets?
Cold country is cold.

08. Heels or sneakers?
Heels, honestly.

09. Straight or curly hair?
Depends..

10. Hoop or dangling earrings?
Dangle.

13. White or black?
Black.

14. Victoria’s secret or bath and body works?
Soap>slutwear, kthx.

15. Smoothies or lattes?
Mocha latte, XL plz.

16. Diet or regular sodas?
I'm not fat enough to qualify for diet coke. :D

17. Water or daiquiris?
The fuck do you compare those? Daiquiris.

18. Pearls or diamonds?
Neither, but on a ring, diamond.

19. Vintage or boho?
Vintage Victorian!

20. Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen?
...Do I look retarded?

21. Lindsay or Hilary?
"

23. Friends or family ?
Hmm.

24. Lip gloss or lip stick?
Neither.

25. Manicure or pedicures?
My toes don't show 89% of the time, anyway.

27. Tank tops or beaters?
Beaters.

28. Tiffany’s or Chanel?
No jewelery please.

29. Love or peace?
Peace is for the delusional.

30. Sunglasses or purses?
Neither.

-----------------------------------------------------------

IN A GUY...

Funny or Serious?
ysosrs

Cute or Hot?
Hrrr.

Dark Eyes or Light Eyes?
Doesn't matter.

Long Hair or Short Hair?
Short, unless they're Alexi. *wishes*

Curly Hair or Straight Hair?
Depends, most guys fit between anyway.

Good Dancer or Good Singer?
Leprechaun!

Basketball Player or Football Player?
Sports are for faggots.

Smoker or Non-smoker?
Well, my standards don't go below "fucking genius", so clearly, the smarter choice. :D

Drunk or Sober?
Sober, usually.

Druggie or clean?
Read the above.

Motorcycle or Has a Sports Car?
Neither.

Beard/Mustache or Clean-shaven?
Depends, depends.

Player or Loyal?
.../facepalm

Bad or Nice?
...




Some of these questions are so fucking ridiculous, I want punch the author in the face.

Also, this was from the answers I wrote over:

Drunk or Sober?
neitherr

I lol'd.

MEMO: I plan on making a new banner and revamping my whole blog soon for the winter. Bye bye, pretty bloody chess pieces. :(

Update for Sharon.

She called me a bitch. *offended*

Blaah. I'm fucked up. Roy Thompson Hall today, watched some boring ass concert. The only thing really interesting there was the superior amount of hot white high school guys. *__* But, being the fucked up little shit I am, I didn't pay much attention to them. I spent my time staring at one of their TEACHERS. Probably in his mid twenties or so.

He was fucking hot.

Anyway, someone called my name and ran off outside the hall. To whoever that is: Fuck you. Now I'm sitting here wondering who the hell recognized me in a mob of secondary school students.

In other news, I need to pee.


andemail'sbeingajerk

October: Update

Somebody is downloading porn and I'm at like, 2000ms. /wrist

Anyway, I have a link to this blog on my Facebook page, a couple forums and on my MSN PM. So for once, as many people I know IRL as I do online read my blog-zomg. So just as a warning to you little kiddies, there'll be a fair(ly large) amount of swearing and cursing and rather gory themes on this page. Reader discretion is advised. And just so you guys know, most of my angry, cynical rants are done with a smile and during a cheerful mood. I rant for fun, and not out of rage. So no, I'm not the angry asshole emo kid I sound like. I blog for the sake of blogging, and by no means is this a tool to get attention. I already get too much attention for my comfort (and that's very, very little). This is my little space to use as a public diary, and fuck you if you think it's screwed up. 'Cause so's your face.

Onto more important matters!


Oct. Reading List

Read this 'cause Jonas is sexy.
- Who doesn't love fuzzy pr0nz?
PostSecret - Amazing stuff, updates every Sunday.
xkcd - <33
Cyanide and Happiness - Good ol' fashioned randomness.

Oct. Monthly To-Do

• Buy new Halloween shirt/blouse/whatever
• Novel study- Aah. Q_Q
• Deposit munnies to debit
• Give Sharon her clip...or $1.15

Ew. I just grabbed a mosquito in my hand and I had to wash it off. Eek.

• Spend BestBuy giftcard!
• Buy new cellphone earphones
• More Special K plz.
• Buy Maffin her stupid present
• Mail it.

Oct. Playlist

Coldplay - Viva la Vida
Coldplay - Lost!
Children of Bodom - Children of Decadence
Andrew W.K - She is Beautiful
Kent - Hur Jag Fick Dig Att Älska Mi
Children of Bodom - Lake Bodom
Kent - Ingenting
Marilyn Manson - This is Halloween
Children of Bodom - In Your Face
The Fray - Trust Me
Killswitch Engage - Rose of Sharyn
Sonata Arctica - Victoria's Secret


Aah. I'm done. *drags self to bed*

I have PMS and a gun.

I sense a week of blood and QQing very soon...

Or I'm just being especially bitchy and you're being especially dickwad-ish.


I need a hug. :(

Anyway, I have a shitload of stuff to do and I'm not going to do them. INSTEAD I'M GONNA WRITE A MAD LIB INSTEAD. :DDDDD

Dear -Last person to comment on your blog-,

I've thought this over, and I think -1-. I really hope you understand, but -2- recently made me aware that -3-. I never thought I'd have to say this, but -4- and I can't wait for you to -5-. Also, I saw you -6- and it just -7- thinking about it. Also, I left your -8- -9-, but I'm keeping your pet -10-, -11-. I hope this -12-

-13-,
Your name

P.S. -14-.

1. What's your favourite colour?
Red- We have too many differences
Blue- You're an ass.
Green- It's not going to work.
Yellow- You're homosexual.
Pink- I saw you sleeping with my mother.
Black- You're ugly.
White- This friendship is over.
Other- Your phone number is too hard to remember

2. When's your birthday?
January - My mom
February - My dad
March - My oldest brother
April - Your slutty sister
May - My best friend
June - Your sexy cousin
July - That one mailman
August - That Englishman over there
September - My grade 6 teacher
October - Your spiritual adviser
November - The voices
December - Your ugly neighbour

3. How many people live in your household right now?
1- You dissected my pet rock
2- Your dog took a piss on my lawn
3- You fucked my gardener
4- You cut down my cherry tree
5- My pet gerbil is currently in your bathtub
6- You cheated during that last Poker game we had
More- You sold my panties on eBay

4. What kind of pets do you have? (Only choose one)
Cat- It's over
Dog- You're a jerk
Hamster- It was never meant to be
Rabbit- I never liked you
Snake- I hope you burn
Fish- Fuck you
Other- My mom told me not to trust you

5. What's your favourite type of food?
Chinese- Die
Japanese- Go on vacation in Spain
Indian- Get fired
French- Retire
Italian- Cook me dinner
Mexican- Go home
American- Try my homemade apple pie
Other- Make bead jewelery with me.

6. What time is it right now?
1:00-2:59- Making out with my chickens
3:00-4:59- Sleeping on my trampoline.
5:00-6:59- Eating a pencil
7:00-8:59- Playing with my LEGO blocks
9:00-10:59- Eating from my trashcan
11:00-12:59- Sitting on my dog

7. How old are you?
5-8- Frightens me
9-12- Makes me smile
13-16- Pisses me off
17-20- Makes me burst out in spasms of laughter
21-24- Makes me want to cry
25-28- Send shivers down my spine
29+- Makes me want to eat a lawn chair

8. What does your first name start with?
A-B- Porn collection
C-D- Ring
E-F- Antique flute
G-H- Transparent purple dildo
I-J- Empty wallet
K-L- Pink-and-white pony doll
M-N- Fuzzy handcuffs
O-P- Naked pictures
Q-R- Paint set
S-T- Maple syrup candy
U-V- Pet gerbil
W-X- Letters
Y-Z- RuneScape login information

9. What's your favourite drink?
Water- on your doorstep
Soda- in your refrigerator
Juice- your window sill
Hot Cocoa- on your fence
Milk- in your mailbox
Other- in your e-mail inbox

10. What kind of music do you like?
Rock- Cat
Pop- Dog
Rap- Rock
R&B- Hamster
Metal- Prostitute
Blues- Snake
Classical- Alligator
Jazz- Sister
Other- Maneating sunflower

11. What kind of cellphone do you own?
Sony- Doraemon
Nokia- Abraham Lincoln
Motorola- Bin Laden
Blackberry- Jackie Chan
LG- Kat Von D.
None- Hillary Clinton
Other- George Washington Bush

12. What's your favourite cake flavour?
Plain- Offends you
Vanilla- Isn't too much of a shock
Chocolate- Gives you a hard-on
Coffee- Kills you
Cheese- Makes you feel warm and fuzzy
Fruit- Brings you to tears
Other- Gives you a stroke

13. First letter of last name?
A-B- Sincerely
C-D- Truly yours
E-F- Go die
G-H- Burn in hell
I-J- I hope you realize your obsession for Harry Potter
K-L- Bite me
M-N- Fuck you
O-P- Go drown
Q-R- I love you
S-T- Don't write back
U-V- Bye for now
W-X- I hate you
Y-Z- Not missing you

14. Candy?
Chocolate- I'm pregnant
Gumballs- You still owe me 25 dollars
Twizzlers- This is not a joke
Jawbreakers- I really did sleep with your sister
Smarties- I eat children for breakfast
Skittles- I ran over your dog on the way to work today
M&Ms- No, we can't just be friends.
Other- I hate your in-laws.


EXAMPLE:

Dear akira,

I've thought this over, and I think we have too many differences. I really hope you understand, but your slutty sister recently made me aware that you sold my panties on eBay. I never thought I'd have to say this, but it's over and I can't wait for you to cook me dinner. Also, I saw you playing with my LEGO blocks and it just makes me smile thinking about it. Also, I left your maple syrup candy on your fence, but I'm keeping your pet prostitute, Doraemon. I hope this gives you a hard-on.

Bite me,
Tracy

P.S. I'm pregnant.

Yo, yo, in da hook!

Fuck you. Fuck you stupid little pieces of shit who decided to corrupt my fucking language with your stupid ass slang. There is nothing that pisses me off more than some bitch who runs around saying "wuzzup ma homiez?!". Fuck you, take your head out of your fucking little asshole and realize that you are not a "gangster", you're not "cool" and you're a fucking retard! Learn fucking English before I shove this bottle up your ass while skinning your forearm.

And to all you fucking reTaRDs tHaT tYpE leIk DiZzz: Fuck you, too. I hope you die in a burning barn while being fucked in the ass by a horse. Not only do you look like an uneducated retard, you're making it a complete pain in my non existent balls to read. You're only making it harder for yourself, and your recipent, whoever that poor bastard is. Why would you take 30 more minutes to type out a sentence that could easily be typed in 15 seconds?

"Once you've started to read this, you cannot stop. I am Mary, a girl with blue eyes, no nose, no eyes, no mouth and black eyes. Pass this on or you will die at midnight " No you're not, you're some 10-year-old in grade 2 Special Ed who doesn't know shit about the world. And no, I won't die at midnight. There is absolutely no sense in chainmails. And now, I will go on to list every type of typical chainmail there is while bashing them into the ground.

"I am ___ and I will kill you at ____ if you don't pass this onto __ people": Oh yeah, a serial killer is definitely going to hunt you down at midnight because you didn't pass on a retarded chainletter written by an illiterate rabid retard. Most commonly found on YouTube comments and MySpace bulletins.

"Facebook/MSN/Hotmail/Myspace/etc is shutting down/going to charge a fee! Send this on so you can use it for free/keep it up!": This is the worst. MSN is definitely going to shut down, leaving its hundreds of millions of users and cutting the millions of dollars they make from it. Use some common sense! Not only do most of these not have any proof whatsoever, but you have to "send it on" to keep it free and running? Fuck that! I bet they hate chainletters as much as any normal person does.

"Jesus died for us and if you don't send this on you have no heart.": Fuck you, fuck you so hard. First of all, I know I have no heart. I'm a fucking atheist so I'm heartless and evil by default, right? Jesus can bend down and suck my non-existent dick for all I care. By the way, Jesus doesn't fucking care about a chainletter. In fact, if there is some invisible man out there watching my every move, I pray that he strikes you down one of his bolts of awesomeness. Religion is the biggest piece of bullshit in the world, and like George Carlin (RIP, you brilliant asshole.) said, the funniest part of it is that it actually has people convinced!

"Send this on and your crush will kiss you! If you don't, you'll have bad luck for 12418401 years!": Oh okay. First of all, I'd be fucking surprised if a chainletter could bring someone from middle of Europe to give me a kiss. The stupidity of these are just so intense that I can't even explain it without bursting into tears.


Everyone who fits under one of the categories I've ranted about here deserves to be tied to the back of a truck on a freeway going at 130km/H and have rubbing alcohol poured into their wounds and eyes.

~TracyL

Society, Humanity: Don't make me laugh.

School is fun. I'm a great, straight A-honour roll student, and they cannot possibly expect I'm actually fucking learning something new. I mean seriously, I would be in high school already if they weren't denying my brilliance! Most of the stuff they teach nowadays is common fucking logic. It doesn't take a genius to figure out some simple algebra. America != Canada, please stop dragging my country's averages down and move to where you fucking belong, retards.

And besides that, a part of school I'm not so gifted in- the actual kids. JONAS BROTHERS ARE SO HOT! OMFG! I'M GOING TO MARRY THEM ONE DAY!! Shut the fuck up. No they're not, no you're not. What you morons don't fucking realize is that you're a tool. A tool for Disney to reap your money and lives. They pick some poor, little kids off the street, put a load of makeup on them and record them reciting a poem some poor drunkard wrote. It's not music. Disney is sitting there, laughing while some spoiled little fags reap in millions of dollars for them. Stupid, fucking...GRAWRRASFL

So like the other day I like totally went to the mall and I like bought a new shirt from Hollister! And then you didn't have enough money for a bus ticket home. They say the homo sapien is the smartest thing alive. I beg to differ. How smart is it to buy a pair of pants for $60 that was most likely made by some poor kid half across the world who probably lost a few fingers in the process and made a penny out of it? Damn people these days don't realize they're all idiots for following these "trends", a.k.a money reaping schemes targetted at the stubborn, idiotic children? If I ever have kids, god forbid, and they ask me one day for something because "everyone else has it" I will beat it's ass and throw it out. I'm a horrible person.

Another thing that bothers me to no end are those shameless little pieces of shit who go around offering tits for quarter. Hey, I had to get dressed in the morning, and so do you. To be honest, I hate feminists as much as whores, but this is ridiculous. Everytime I see a shirt at a store that is clearly supposed to be extremely revealing and obviously targetting the, what I like to call, Pussycat Dolls wannabes, I spit whatever I have in my mouth on the inside of the shirt chest. Whether it's gum (my favourite), my precious double chocolate chip frappuccino or just simply my saliva. Quit exploiting your fat body, most people don't want to see that shit anyway.

I'm done. For now. Expect more. *fingers break off*

~TracyL

Operation: Rant hole

Welcome to my blag. I've recently moved from Livejournal because of their lack of freedom with customization, and this place looks pretty cool, so I'll give it a shot. I'd normally transfer all my shit here, but I think I'll start anew. I'll be using this space mostly for ranting and QQing.

Also, for those of you who can't google, Iratus is Latin for 'wrath'. If you follow my blog you'll find out why.

~TracyL