Yo, yo, in da hook!

Fuck you. Fuck you stupid little pieces of shit who decided to corrupt my fucking language with your stupid ass slang. There is nothing that pisses me off more than some bitch who runs around saying "wuzzup ma homiez?!". Fuck you, take your head out of your fucking little asshole and realize that you are not a "gangster", you're not "cool" and you're a fucking retard! Learn fucking English before I shove this bottle up your ass while skinning your forearm.

And to all you fucking reTaRDs tHaT tYpE leIk DiZzz: Fuck you, too. I hope you die in a burning barn while being fucked in the ass by a horse. Not only do you look like an uneducated retard, you're making it a complete pain in my non existent balls to read. You're only making it harder for yourself, and your recipent, whoever that poor bastard is. Why would you take 30 more minutes to type out a sentence that could easily be typed in 15 seconds?

"Once you've started to read this, you cannot stop. I am Mary, a girl with blue eyes, no nose, no eyes, no mouth and black eyes. Pass this on or you will die at midnight " No you're not, you're some 10-year-old in grade 2 Special Ed who doesn't know shit about the world. And no, I won't die at midnight. There is absolutely no sense in chainmails. And now, I will go on to list every type of typical chainmail there is while bashing them into the ground.

"I am ___ and I will kill you at ____ if you don't pass this onto __ people": Oh yeah, a serial killer is definitely going to hunt you down at midnight because you didn't pass on a retarded chainletter written by an illiterate rabid retard. Most commonly found on YouTube comments and MySpace bulletins.

"Facebook/MSN/Hotmail/Myspace/etc is shutting down/going to charge a fee! Send this on so you can use it for free/keep it up!": This is the worst. MSN is definitely going to shut down, leaving its hundreds of millions of users and cutting the millions of dollars they make from it. Use some common sense! Not only do most of these not have any proof whatsoever, but you have to "send it on" to keep it free and running? Fuck that! I bet they hate chainletters as much as any normal person does.

"Jesus died for us and if you don't send this on you have no heart.": Fuck you, fuck you so hard. First of all, I know I have no heart. I'm a fucking atheist so I'm heartless and evil by default, right? Jesus can bend down and suck my non-existent dick for all I care. By the way, Jesus doesn't fucking care about a chainletter. In fact, if there is some invisible man out there watching my every move, I pray that he strikes you down one of his bolts of awesomeness. Religion is the biggest piece of bullshit in the world, and like George Carlin (RIP, you brilliant asshole.) said, the funniest part of it is that it actually has people convinced!

"Send this on and your crush will kiss you! If you don't, you'll have bad luck for 12418401 years!": Oh okay. First of all, I'd be fucking surprised if a chainletter could bring someone from middle of Europe to give me a kiss. The stupidity of these are just so intense that I can't even explain it without bursting into tears.


Everyone who fits under one of the categories I've ranted about here deserves to be tied to the back of a truck on a freeway going at 130km/H and have rubbing alcohol poured into their wounds and eyes.

~TracyL